Comstock Farms
Did I ever mention that I live in a trailer park? If not, it's true: I do. Should I ever win the Florida lottery (which is unlikely since I don't play), I will have to spend my winnings on some land so I can build my own "manufactured housing development. Comstock Farms will have nice large lots and communal gardens and its own still and brewery. There will be a bicycle barn and a swimmin' pond and a big picnic pavilion for Sunday cookouts. Off in one far corner we will have a primitive camping area for visiting friends and diagonally across the property will be the parking lot. No cars allowed inside the Farms. The daycare center will be filled with furry creatures and hand-hewn toys and books. The entire park will be fenced so that the community dogs can roam free. |
| Check Out Those Gourds! |
Am I missing anything?
Sounds pretty cool, huh? As a wizard of trailers, I will manufacture each unit to my own demanding specifications in a steel building down by the highway. Comstock Custom Homes Manufacturing, Inc. will be next door to The First Comstock Community Bank and Credit Union. That's where ya go to finance your new home. Across the way will be the Comstock Grocery Store and Pawn Shop.
 |
| Another Satisfied Customer. I don't know who the guy on the right is but I think he has a blackjack in his pocket |
I think that covers it pretty well...Sheriff Tim Joe sounds nice, too...I'll have a flashing light on my bicycle and a water pistol loaded with The Scarlet Ink of Shame. If you've been bad everyone will know...
 |
| Just another day at Comstock Farms |
But I don't want to be sheriff. Let's see...
Mayor? Not me...
Wait...Head Librarian! I'll be the Comstock Farms Librarian! Now I'm getting excited
Fifty acres ought to do it. Maybe I'll start a Kick-Starter campaign, whatever that is.
Here's the Thing:
I don't know what that is but my friend Agent KAZ, the Swell Guy, knows somebody who does and he goes by the name of the Minister of Mojo. He is doing something or another related to Katrina and needs money to get there. Look it up here and if the Spirit moves ya, kick in. As always, I have no money but I have a lot of friends so I'll leave it to you guys to sort it out.
Remember Judi, of Miles and Madness? She remains kick-ass as always and her and her husband Dom have opened a super-fine bicycle shop in Cincinnati. They call it Spun Cycles and I am proud as hell of them for achieving such an enviable goal. Drop by their site and say hi or, if you are in Cincinatti or somewhere close by. get over there and spend all your money.
That's All For Now
There's a lot to say about one thing or another, but right now I am immersed in fiction and murder mystery fiction in particular. I simply have GOT to crank something out that people will pay for and while I always planned to be a Melville I will be more than happy to be a Hammett. The problem is, everytime I sit down to type up a post, someone has to die or get stabbed in the back and some other guy has to do something about it. There are bicycle chases and gunfire and sexy ladies who are up to no good. I'm on the track of something, and I kinda-sorta want to serialize some of it on here. But I also am reluctant to freak out my beloved readers. But if writing doesn't start to trickle down some spare change pretty soon I am going to have to get a real job and I am VERY reluctant to do that. I would much rather prostitute my art with hack writing and far-fetched tales.
Did I mention that I live in a trailer park?
 |
| Sexy Lady Up to No Good. Needs a Cheeseburger |
Whispering Pines Trailer Park and House of Dreams
#103
T.J.,
ReplyDeleteThe new offing is good stuff. All I remember about a Kick Starter campaign is that when I got caught up in one, I really wished I had paid more attention my motorcycle maintenance,or perhaps the Zen. A bicycle is better anyway.
Gotta Run,
Bill Hopp a.k.a. The Anonymous Hoosier
Bill! Good to have you back. Remember, when you have a bicycle, you don't have to run.
ReplyDeletetj
Tim Joe,
DeleteThanks. It's good to be back. I'll try to remember not to run. The bicycle is faster, more fun, and a lot easier on my knees.
Bill
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMy spelling was atrocious :p
DeleteLOL,while we own the trailer we live in,we live in one,too my friend (trailer park,and well...we own the payment book anyways :p ) We wuz at one tiem rich Virginians though,until it burned down (thankfully no one was home) in June of '11,our last place owned was a DOUBLE WIDE trailer...thanks for the LOL you gave me :) I don't comment all that much,but I always enjoy the reads :)
ReplyDeleteThe DC
Double wide is royalty, dawg. But me, i think the simpleness and purity of a singlewide makes for a more certain entry to Heaven. Something to do with camels and eyes of needles.
DeleteI wish you would comment more often. You seem to be a brother.
tj
We're hoping to hit the lottery too..(tho my wife does play when it gets big...gotta play to have a shot). I don't have much money either, but that's cuz my wife is doing her part to make sure we will be able to retire someday. Comstock Farms sounds nice...maybe we can have our winter home there...(hate to say it, but I'm not much of a summer 'Florida' person...kinda hot, humid, and you have too many things that want to bite/eat me). Also you have no mountains..that's a problem too (for me). I really like Mt biking. Hawaii is nice...has mtns, warm ocean, roads, trails, etc etc...only it's even higher cost of living than Calif! Really need that lotto win I guess. If not, keep a trailer reserved for us in about 10 years.
ReplyDeleteAnd good luck on your book...all you need is ONE really good original idea (think Harry Potter or Twilight for recent blockbuster ga-zillionaires). You can do it...you surely have the talent w/ the writing part.
Matt, summer in Florida is painful, unless, like me, you consider it a purge. All that deep sweating has got to be good for the body. California is the most wonderful place on the planet. Everyone on earth knows this and they go there. Hence the crowds. Hawaii? Rock fever. Any person who wants to enjoy being poor and also likes moutains should move to Comstock Farms. I forgot to mention the private airstrip and the monthly flights via the Comstock Corporate Jet to all the coolest bicycle rides in America. My bad.
Deletetj
Comstock Compound sounds idyllic and inventive. Like it. Can you send that young lady from your Bar and Grill over my way...?
ReplyDeleteOK. I just put her on the Comstock Corporate Jet. She lives on a strict diet of reds, vitamin C and cocaine. All a friend can say is ain't it a shame.
Deletetj
Excellent post, sir! But you need to stop grinding these out and grind out something to be sold. I admit, I liked the idea of a shoot em up thriller where the protagonist is a cyclist....lends all sort of odd things in the chase scenes. I think that's a winner. And if you make it a fallen cycling idol, banished for doping or something even more heinous (like truth in sponsorship) it could be a stone winner!
ReplyDeleteI'm always available to workshop ideas, too.
I'm waiting for the weather to clear so I can get some decent riding in. Unfortunately, today it's snowing....In VA...on the 2nd day of Spring. How bizarre.
I hadn't considered the fallen angel route, Brian...in fact, I am in the throes of stuffing my own ego and sense of my own wonderfulness into maybe making the Trailer Park Cyclist being the sidekick, the Doctor Watson...that Newsboy character has a certain power...dude, it ain't easy. I'm working on it though.
Deletetj
As head Librarian I am sure you will be the best ever with the only library world-wide serving free beer!
ReplyDeleteOh, can my job at Comstock Farms be, brew master? The beer might be sub-standard as I learn on the job but I am a fast learner. Either that or , Sunday picnic coordinator. That would be a good job, I could excel at that!
Ya know, there are not going to be many of your readers under the age of fifty that would know what a blackjack is. Tell them it has nothing to do with a deck of cards.
I don't know anything about the book writing/publishing business so the only way I can help is to buy the book when you get it out, so get to it!!
Get a ride in for me as it is snowing/blowing again.
Jim
By the way, with that title, I read through today's post carefully looking for some obscure Amazing Rhythm Aces references.
ReplyDelete...that was one seriously kick-ass band. As far as Comstock Farms goes, Coach, you have first choice for any job ya want. Tim Joe wrangler is open, ever since Coyote went back to the Rez...but i gotta warn ya, that post requires stamina...
ReplyDeleteI know about the trailer park. I've been there. I pray to The Almighty that you do with the lottery. Twice. without even buying a ticket.
ReplyDeleteYer Pal
Zig
Yeah and now I'm all dazzled by shrimp farming. Domestic indoor shrimp farming. I got a miilion of 'em.
Deletetj
Love your trailer park idyll. Nice writing. You're a smart guy.
ReplyDeleteFunny, I have a dedicated internet follower on my blog called WSmart who reminds me uncannily of you. Idiosyncratic ideas, nice writing style, cutting wit - rides a Schwinn and everything... Do you know him?
Anna, it is always an honor to receive a visit from a true wandering cyclist. I have taken the liberty of adding your pages to my Blog list. I am sorry to say that I don't know WSmart. Send him by the Park, though, and maybe we can get acquainted.
ReplyDeleteI remember a feller from Texas who thought he was the President of the US but his name was WDumb. At least it should have been.
tj
I went and spent some time checking Anna's blog and site. Wow, she has truly seen and experienced so much of the world and by bicycle. Very interesting!
DeleteI am always surprised how the internet connects us citizens of this world. Who would-of-thunk that a woman traveling through South America would be reading about the TPC! I guess no more of a stretch than a lumber guy from the mountains reading about the TPC!
TJ, I did have to go to my dictionary and look up the word Idiosyncratic.
Hmmmm.....
Jim my long range plans call for building my own trailer park, starting an indoor shrimp farm and world domination, whichever comes first. And riding my bicycle.
Deletetj
(and for what its worth, people like Anna, Cass Gilbert, Nicholas Carmen, Joe Cruz, and so many others are my true heroes. They are the ones who show the rest of the world that not all Americans are swaggering jackasses. They go out there and use energy, the magical karma of the bicycle and earnest endeavor to do more diplomatic work in the name of goodwill and friendship than any amount of paid diplomats or corporate lobbyists.)
I just found myself wondering what a soapbox was. I remember the Soapbox Derby (kinda) and I certainly climb up on a virtual soapbox sometimes but what the hell was a soapbox? Some kind of stout crate (I hope: I'm a Clyde) but the last time I bought soap (how long has it been now?) it came in a really little cardboard box.
Sigh. So much to know and so little time.
tj amore
Honoured to join your blog roll.
DeleteWSmart's a man of mystery but if I ever get acquainted myself I'll endeavour to introduce you two - either virtually or at the trailer park, whichever seems the most feasible. I'm sure you'll get along since you both have a fondness for Schwinn.
My partner and I stumbled over here different page and thought
ReplyDeleteI might check things out. I like what I see so i am just following you.
Look forward to going over your web page yet again.
my web site: chi flat iron official website