Morning
I climb out of the saddle and wipe the
sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand. The day started out
cool enough, with a nice little northeast wind. My ride south had
been brisk and slightly chilled in the early light of dawn and I had
the world to myself, it seemed: the birds were singing their asses
off and there was the scrabbling of small animals in the undergrowth
along the shoulder and the road was empty and all mine. I had
planned to do my usual twenty-four mile loop that I call my daydream
ride but the morning planet was so new and fresh and enticing that I
turned right at my usual left hand turn and rode still further into
the forest.
All these roads I use for this quiet
loop were gravel or dirt up until a year or so ago. Then, for a
brief and magical break-in period they were pristine blacktop, smooth
and serene and like a gift of some kind. I never saw another cyclist
except once, but now I
see them every time I go that way. Group rides are common and a
group passed me this morning. I thought about trying to keep up but
quickly abandoned the idea. I am out of shape these days and riding
single speed and anyway, today was a long day of saddle time and
exploration, not speed.
The morning cool
has collapsed into another Florida day of heat and sweat and I
shoulder my bicycle and clamber over the huge mound left by the new
trench down the middle of White Beach Road.
Open
Heart Surgery
What the hell
happened here? This little trail was a kind of road through the
woods to a place on the river the locals call White Beach. For all I
know, the property was at one time owned by someone named White; but
we call it White Beach because after you pedal through several
hundred yards of woods, you break out into a fantastic place on the
Indian River that is a football field-size expanse of glistening
white sand, clusters of palm trees and a dark deep woods.
For many years
(decades) this has been a bonfire and hell-raising spot. It has been
a prime weekend destination for boaters looking for a place to picnic
and stretch out on the sand. It is a very private property, too be
sure; but that never seemed to matter until seven years ago when a
big development company out of Orlando bought the place with plans to
erect a nineteen story waterfront condominium tower. They
immediately put up a six foot fence around the whole property and
tore down the ages-old wooden gate that had long ago become more of a
symbol than a barrier, replacing it with a stout steel locking gate
and a big stout padlock.
With
A Rebel Yell
That fence and
that gate suffered all manner of vandalistic humiliation over the
years as outraged locals, refusing to accept the loss of what really
was a beautiful spot that had been forever wide open, alternately
plowed through the chain link with four wheel drive trucks, stole and
scrapped the gate for money, cut and used for a bonfire the tree the
owners had felled across the road and fought authority with relish
and the eternal rebel/cracker energy that makes us who (and what) we
are. Meanwhile, the faceless corporation behind this little war was
fighting a separate battle with the zoning board over their planned
gargantuan project. A nineteen story condominium in an area where
the next tallest building would have been one story tall, had there
been any other buildings in the area. This was just...awful.
It was a
ludicrous struggle but as usual good prevailed over evil, if a
jackass multimillion dollar development corporation counts as good
and frustrated village vandals should be considered evil. Yeah, the
county council approved the plans for this dark tower and then the
recession hit and it all became just another crazy Florida story.
It's
Mine! I Mean Ours! We Mean...Business!
But for some
reason, this corporation was adamant about keeping out the riff-raff
and now here am I, crawling over a big pile of sand with my bike on
my back, scrambling across the bottom of a four foot deep ditch down
the center of the old road, then back up the other side, using one
hand to steady the bike and one hand to claw my way to the top of the
diggings.
'What the hell,”
I muttered (out loud this time). It didn't make much sense. This
beach is readily accessible by boat; what would be gained by digging
this ugly gash along the old forest road? They must really want to
keep us out. But why? Now NOBODY could get in there, at least not
by car or truck. For a realtor to show this property (and there is
a big For Sale sign out front) they would have to bring prospective
buyers in by boat. But then again, this is Florida. Anything goes.
Down
to the River to Pray
I lean my
bicycle against a handy palmetto and brush off the sand. The day is
really warming up. I walk down to the river and wade out to where
it is knee deep. The place seems different. It feels different.
Across the river I can see Boy Scout Cut, a place where the water
rolls pretty quick on a falling tide and it is deep and cool and a
place of snook and trout. The Cut leads around a big spoil island to
the flats on the backside; many, many square miles of crystal clear
water only inches deep and it is a place of magic. It is only inches
deep and it takes a boat that can be poled or paddled to get in there
and move about. It is holy and there are redfish there and roseate
spoonbills and water fowl and fish hawks.
I could stand
here in this water all day. I have waded here and fished here; I have come here in my old boat with my old dog when she was a puppy and let her run and learn about fire and beer and shallow water and other dogs and the joy of the
shallows and chasing all manner of small fry...this was and will
forever be a place of my heart. There have been ashes scattered
here. This is the Indian River and this is Old White Beach.
And
So...
I turn from the
river and (of course) stare for a moment at my bicycle, trusty and
solid and ready and waiting. Made of steel and already old when she
became mine, we will be together for a long time. There are all too
few constants in our lives and we lose everything we cherish sooner
or later, or they lose us. But somehow, through luck good or bad (it
is hard to know) I have once and for all learned and gained the
bonding with something that will not die or leave for another or
simply turn away. With a minimum of care and a little love there
will always be a bicycle to turn to, a bicycle to ride, a bicycle to
get out there on and see the world both inside and out.
The dirty work
done by these new owners can stop a four-wheeler, but a man and a
bicycle are a different story. I gaze around at the scene of so many
good times and then I walk over to my bike. I'm not looking forward
to going back over that ditch. Did I mention that I am out of shape?
I take a long, wistful look around.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh,
the Dichotomy of It All
I know I will
see it again, coming in by boat. But I know this, also: I make my
living working for condo developers. There is a damn good chance I
will one day be down here wearing a hardhat and carrying a clipboard
and doing my part to take away from my beloved Florida one more
Florida place.
It is painful to
think about. I long ago gave up trying to reconcile my trade with my
love of wild outdoor places. I am a dichotomous sonofabitch but it
is a condition that I have learned to ameliorate with a little money
earned and a lot of beer and rum (drunk, dranken, partook of?) and
long sweaty bicycle rides; here am I : Old Tim Joe, wandering about
lost and found and seeking redemption.
I shoulder my
bicycle, take a deep breath, and head back over this latest scar on
the earth and on my heart. The day is young, even if I am not; there
is more to see and my ride home will be mostly into the wind, as
usual.
I wouldn't have
it any other way.
Whispering
Pines Trailer Park and Forgive Us Our Trespasses
#105
Beautiful man, just beautiful
ReplyDeletethank you
Oh no, brother, thank you!
ReplyDeletetj
Hopefully it will be a while before the old places disappear. It makes me sad to see so many places gone forever un the name of progress. Thanks for sharing this!!!
ReplyDeleteDan
Dan, development and Florida are synonymous. By this point in my life I thought I would be a boat bum in the Carribean, not a bike bum in Florida. But there it is. Makes for good Blogging, though.
Deletetj
I feel for you. This part of Australia is growing like topsy, but my roots here are shallow and I don't feel the loss as voracious progress spreads. Meanwhile back in the old country my roots harden into an amber resin of negative growth. I am not sure which is most hurtful really.
ReplyDeleteHard to say, Dee. For years I went on the road to work, building commercial restaurants. Then I would come home to my somnambulent little village where big change was your favorite bartender getting a new apron. But then the state widened the road to Orlando from a narrow two-lane blacktop to a fast four lane expressway and that was that.
Deletetj
I love your writing. I really do.
ReplyDeleteThank you anna. tj
DeleteTJ,
ReplyDeleteI can really sympathize with you. As a supporter of wilderness protection I have the same conflict - my business is architecture, which is largely the opposite of wilderness. And I truly hate to see favorite places disappear in the name of 'progress'.
I think of Penny Pines, a memorial forest in Pennsylvania that was planted after one of the wars, with kids donating pennies to buy pine seedlings to reforest the clear cut hills. When I discovered it the trees were mature, and it was a beautiful, quiet forest with pine scented air. It was one of the few places that I'd ever seen our local wild orchis growing. Went back that way a couple of years ago - and the whole damn place has been clear cut. Even the bronze dedication plaque is gone. I almost cried.
But where I'm from is not the hot spot of development. The Steel Valley of Youngstown, Ohio is one of the areas of the Rust Belt that has been in decline for so long that it's made it's own kind of depressing scenery. Parts of the city have so many empty lots from vacant houses being demolished that they're 50% meadow.
You can drive down a street and notice curb cuts leading up into - nothing. The buildings that were once there have been gone for so long that the driveways are even gone, and the whole lot is now scrub reverting to woods.
Empty manufacturing buildings have lain dormant for so long that even the roads leading up to them have been abandoned, making huge swaths of empty, inaccessible debris. Access to the river is nearly impossible, as the old infrastructure from the steel mills lines the banks for miles.
So yeah, over development can suck, destroying great places in the name of profit. But the other side of the calendar page is just as ugly.
Steve Z
I fully understand, Steve. I have always found those abandoned places to be a little eerie and somehow threatening. I just rode past a two-block stretch in downtown Daytona that has been completely leveled, leaving only vast areas of concrete slab surrounded by chain link. If they would just leave off the fences at least kids on skateboards or dancing hobos might bring a little life and color to the place.
ReplyDeleteBut litigation being what it is this our Year of the Lawyer 2013, fences, I fear, will be with us from now on.
Like I am fond of saying, the Apocalypse has already begun.
tj
Hey TJ…that was a pure joy to read…you dun-guud my friend! Makes me think of the old saying we had in the Navy: “you can never go back” (referring to returning to prior duty-stations, hoping/expecting to repeat whatever magic we had there the first time). But time moves forward at an ever increasing peace, and the 'progress' we see on our return means we won't very-often like whatever has changed. We dream about 'what was' I'm afraid.
ReplyDeleteThat ol' saying seems to fit most any situation though...not just duty-stations. Maybe part of it is how our minds work...we remember mostly the good parts. Mostly.
Thanks, Matt! In my case I think that arrested development plays a part. In my efforts to not grow up I want all my playgrounds to stay the same.
Deletetj
tj,
ReplyDeleteGood piece!
I have lived that double agent life most of my adult life, just not a secret double agent life. Selling sticks for a living and relying on the construction trades prosperity to provide my living is in contrast to a love for unspoiled space on this planet. I have spent many days visiting lumber mill operations plus some trips into the forests of the northwest to see for myself how the forest products industry goes about their business. This was more for my own self-interest than anything a small-time operator like myself could make any difference in the world of millions of board feet produced every year. I just wanted to know that I was in an honest business instead of a big earth rape for a buck scam. I have come away with the knowledge that forest management is a healthy and environmentally sound practice here in North America in spite of the negative public sentiment. Don't fret Steve Z, I am sure that your Penny Pines will be reforested (unless it is being developed for buildings, which is a different thing)and once again be a beautiful space. People forget that a forest ecosystem is a living breathing changing, aging thing. Old growth forests are destined to become new grow forests.
Your paragraph on your relationship with your bike was some beautiful writing straight from the soul. Crazy how we feel about something inanimate. Yet, it is not really the bike but the feeling it gives us as we pedal with our own energy and power and the feeling of "by god, This is me, just me". I am having reflective days here lately and the bike reinforces feelings that I am ME. A friend from my past died this week. We were very close thirty years ago but as you mentioned things change and move on. It was not so much that I will miss him but the time we shared friendship. I mourn the past time that is, of course, embellished in my own mind.
I think I'll ride my bike at lunch and think about it some more.
Well, look at this.....I have totally blog-jacked the Trailer-Park.
Move along...nothing else to see here.
Jim
By the way, Nice Alison Krauss reference!
I put those references in for you, Jim. And blogjack anytime you feel the earth move. (tee hee)
ReplyDeletetj
I only catch the references if they are in my musical wheelhouse. I'm sure you have them that zip right over my head and I miss. I caught it but I was never a Billy Idol fan. He had that lip sneer that only Elvis could do well.
Delete